"Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt." That quote, as cheesy as it sounds, sparked a thought in me. I discovered the adage when I was in middle school and to this day, I still consider it one of the most thought-provoking quotes.
Let's get to it:
We've all been spoon-fed this cookie cutter idea of love. Disney films showed not only romantic love but the love in friendship and family that lasts longer than that of romance. But we only see what we want to see. We see the prince in a shining armor on a white horse. We see the kiss. We see the happily ever after. We see the beauty in love because we were too young to see anything else. But do you notice that behind the facade of true love lies deceitful stepmothers whose marriage is in ruins. Do we not realize that fairytales hold not only the happiness that love brings but also the drawbacks?
I've never considered myself a love expert, nor do I want to. While most of my friends started dating at a young age, I learned to live by on my own. When they discussed their dates and adventures, I listened. I came into the dating scene much later than most people, and I probably still have a lot to learn. But what I have realized thus far is that the act of falling in love is so much more than just theatrics. It's not about looking deeply into each others eyes with some indie music playing in the background. Falling in love is just a fraction of what the act actually entails. Love is only a stroke on a canvas.
Falling in love requires a lot of sacrifices. Your life is no longer your own. Instead, you give a part of yourself, or all of them, to your partner. Independence becomes obsolete once you've learned to share everything in the name of love. Someone in a relationship becomes a different person. They say things differently, they spend less time with you, and they seem to be preoccupied with the opinion of their partner. In a relationship, your thoughts are not yours to keep. They become shared in a bowl like Legally Blonde 2's Snap Cup.
Not only do you lose your independence (arguable, but in most cases, you do lose at least a part of it), but you lose control of your emotions. Falling in love is like releasing the leashes on all your emotions and hoping that they won't run away. But like dogs, sometimes they do.
Some people love too quick. They wear their hearts on their sleeves. Which really isn't a bad thing, but the time of heartbreak will come. That's the thing; people think that relationships are forever. That this boy or girl they met a couple months ago is the key to their happiness. So they invest themselves in the other person, and they end up losing themselves in the process. But we shouldn't see relationships as being forever, especially not when we're young and foolish. If it lasts, then great. If it doesn't, then it okay. For me, love should only be thrown into the equation when a forever is blatantly imminent.
Love isn't something you give out easily like pamphlets, and it shouldn't be. Loving someone requires time and effort. It shouldn't be an emotion as freely expressed as happiness and sadness. It's something visceral. An emotion that is the basis of nearly everything we do. It shouldn't be tampered with and thrown around so blithely. We have to be careful of when we say it and how we express it. Love is powerful, but it is also dangerous. You lose a part of yourself in the process, and sometimes it isn't for the better.
Some people love too quick. They wear their hearts on their sleeves. Which really isn't a bad thing, but the time of heartbreak will come. That's the thing; people think that relationships are forever. That this boy or girl they met a couple months ago is the key to their happiness. So they invest themselves in the other person, and they end up losing themselves in the process. But we shouldn't see relationships as being forever, especially not when we're young and foolish. If it lasts, then great. If it doesn't, then it okay. For me, love should only be thrown into the equation when a forever is blatantly imminent.
Love isn't something you give out easily like pamphlets, and it shouldn't be. Loving someone requires time and effort. It shouldn't be an emotion as freely expressed as happiness and sadness. It's something visceral. An emotion that is the basis of nearly everything we do. It shouldn't be tampered with and thrown around so blithely. We have to be careful of when we say it and how we express it. Love is powerful, but it is also dangerous. You lose a part of yourself in the process, and sometimes it isn't for the better.
I admire those who fall in love, not because they can, but because they have the ease of letting go. Letting go of their emotions and whatever walls they have built. Letting go of their independence. Letting go of the safety of being in control of oneself. Because once you fall in love, you are no longer the driver of your car. Love can make your cross oceans, and I think I am too comfortable with being in control to ever let any part of it go.
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