Hot Topic: Physical Insecurities

Everyone has insecurities. I think that those without insecurities are people that should be feared. But I have yet to meet a person without insecurities, so I'm assuming that everyone has them, some more than others. I remember someone asking me what I would change about my appearance. I told them that I would easily change three things about my face, and they told me that I was crazy because they couldn't find anything obviously wrong with my three features. Which brings me to my next point; are we the only ones who could see our own insecurities?

Let's get to it:

Remember the Dove Real Beauty Sketches that got all the girls' panties wet because it was so inspirational? Which it was, don't get me wrong, but it was pretty flawed and I doubt that strangers would be harshly critical of somebody else's appearance when they're on camera. But the concept itself is pretty throught-provoking; we are more beautiful than we think we are. 

But are we really? Are we more beautiful than we think we are because other people simply don't notice our obvious external flaws, or are we more beautiful because what we think are flaws aren't actually flaws? I think it's the former. I believe that whatever flaws we think we have are imperfections that other people simply haven't noticed yet. Which is why I rarely mention my external flaws because I'm too afraid that other people would finally be aware of them.

Flaws aren't flaws until someone points it out. Case in point, my nose is crooked to the left. I never knew my nose was crooked until a few months ago when my sister pointed it out. Also, I have a theory that those with siblings will be more aware of their insecurities because their sisters or brothers have the audacity to point out all their flaws. Seriously, I can't have a nice and normal conversation with my sisters without one of them interrupting me mid sentence to point out some inherent flaw that I possess. Note to sisters: pare, por favor. 

The worst part about being criticized about our immutable flaws is that we remember them much more than our compliments. We remember them more because we are like statues obsessed with scratches, and whenever someone points one out, we aim to buff it before others notice it too. I remember laughing with my friend and he told me that I looked scary when I grinned. To this day I instinctively cover my mouth every time I laugh. It was 2009. I remember the exact moment my friend said, "why is your hair not like other girls?" I remember looking at the mirror in the salon as they permanently straighten my hair with chemicals. It was 2010. I remember the moment my sister pointed out how the color of my forehead is darker than the rest of my face. I remember forking out $54 for a foundation the day after. It was 2011. I remember my classmate who told me to take my ponytail down because I "don't look good with it". Now you never see me with my hair up. It was 2012. 

Our morning ritual of looking in the mirror becomes a habit of nitpicking all our imperfections. We pick apart our flaws like flower petals every single day. When we step outside our homes, we begin to engage in habitual body monitoring; constantly thinking about how our bodies appear to the outside world. For many of us, insecurities are a daily battle that consumes our thoughts. Sometimes I wish I was back in the fourth grade when I genuinely believed I was beautiful simply because I told myself I was.

Insecurities will always be a lifelong battle for everyone. Like Miranda Kerr said, "models are the most insecure people I've ever met." It can be crippling for some, like those with body dysmorphic disorder, but it's something we all have to deal with. I'm just a young kid who hasn't fully accepted her flaws yet, but when I do, I'll be sure to tell you all. I guess all we have to do is wait until we develop enough strength to love ourselves inside and out. How? Who knows, everyone has their tricks. We just have to find our own.