I live with two older sisters, and a group of girls with self-esteem issues is basically like group therapy in Eating Disorder Anonymous. For the past two weeks I have heard nothing but incessant complaints about their bodies or certain parts that they don't like, and it's pretty goddamn tiring when all I see are literally the two most beautiful women I have ever encountered. But it's just not my sisters, it's everyone I know. Every single girl in my life have, in one way or another, complained to me about how fat they are.
Let's get to it:
There are girls who complain that they're fat just to fish for compliments, and it's pretty much the most annoying thing you can do. Fishing for compliments is like seeing an adult being spoon fed. Compliment yourself, don't depend on others to make you feel good or to reassure you of what you already know about yourself.
Then there are girls with obvious body flaws, like dark red stretch marks, deep scars, short height, or whatever innate or permanent faults they have. Some of them don't complain much about it because they have accepted it wholeheartedly, but then there are those who know it's going to be a part of them for the rest of their lives and yet refuse to come to terms with it. Which is a terrible way to live. I know it's an eyesore and life would be so much better without it, but if you have done every treatment available to get rid of it (or refuse to go under the knife), then you don't really have the right to complain too much about it. Once in a while you can mention it, but only when the situation calls for it, and in passing. Because everyone knows its a flaw, and it's pretty uncomfortable for me to have to go, "yeah but everyone loves your cellulite..." when you point out your cheese-like thighs.
Fat people who complain that they're fat are even worse. Because the conversation usually goes like, "ugh I'm really fat," and there's this awkward silence because they're actually fat and now what do I do? I used to answer with a, "no you're not," as I watch the fat ripple on their thighs like the 2004 tsunami. But now I answer with a, "then why don't you go to the gym?"
There are girls who complain that they're fat just to fish for compliments, and it's pretty much the most annoying thing you can do. Fishing for compliments is like seeing an adult being spoon fed. Compliment yourself, don't depend on others to make you feel good or to reassure you of what you already know about yourself.
Then there are girls with obvious body flaws, like dark red stretch marks, deep scars, short height, or whatever innate or permanent faults they have. Some of them don't complain much about it because they have accepted it wholeheartedly, but then there are those who know it's going to be a part of them for the rest of their lives and yet refuse to come to terms with it. Which is a terrible way to live. I know it's an eyesore and life would be so much better without it, but if you have done every treatment available to get rid of it (or refuse to go under the knife), then you don't really have the right to complain too much about it. Once in a while you can mention it, but only when the situation calls for it, and in passing. Because everyone knows its a flaw, and it's pretty uncomfortable for me to have to go, "yeah but everyone loves your cellulite..." when you point out your cheese-like thighs.
Fat people who complain that they're fat are even worse. Because the conversation usually goes like, "ugh I'm really fat," and there's this awkward silence because they're actually fat and now what do I do? I used to answer with a, "no you're not," as I watch the fat ripple on their thighs like the 2004 tsunami. But now I answer with a, "then why don't you go to the gym?"
Ah! Such an easy question with a difficult answer. You'll notice they'll start to stutter; they haven't gone to the gym, not since Gym class was mandatory in high school, and even then they would listlessly run around the jogging track with their fellow rotund friends. You'll see the color drain from their cheeks, and they'll shut up. But then there are several girls who will say, "yeah I do, like, once a week." Bitch please that's like someone going, "I'm a vegetarian because every Wednesday I eat only brocolli."
But the ultimate pet peeve of mine are girls who are perfectly fine the way they are, love handles and all, but refuse to accept that they don't have a naturally thin frame. Some people have bigger hips or wider shoulders or bigger ribs or shorter legs. You gotta deal with the hand God gave you. When it comes with body types, you literally cannot change it, no matter how much you want a tinier pelvis. You have to look in the mirror and go, "well, that's pretty much it." It might not be enough, but if you've spent decades with that body, you can spend a few more with that same one. You should not hate what you are born with, only work with it.
What's odd is that I rarely, if ever, hear disfigured or handicapped people complain about their bodies. They might, from time to time, but never a long spiel about how terrible they look. It's almost always the healthy women with little flaws that make such a big deal out of it. Because they don't know any worse. They really don't. They don't realize how easy it is for them to have their legs amputated after an ill-fated accident. They don't realize that they could easily have conditions that disfigured their torsos. These girls don't realize that their working limbs are a godsend, and that no matter the size, they should be grateful that it has retained its original function.
If you want to change something about yourself, then go ahead. Do so in a healthy and smart way. But if you do absolutely nothing to change it then you have no right to complain. What would you tell a man who aspires to be champion track runner Usain Bolt, but have never actually tried to run? If you cannot change a part of yourself, then you have to accept it. Accept that you have big legs or large ribs, because if you don't, then you'll live the rest of your life trapped in your own hatred. Nobody wants to hear you complain about how fat you are, because it does no one any good. Worst of all, it doesn't do you any good.
I have stopped weighing myself since the beginning of last year. I have refused to step on the scale, no matter how much people tell me to. If someone asks for my weight, I tell them I don't know, because I honestly don't. I do not want to be defined by a number because that's not what I am made of. I have terrible flaws that don't fit society's standards, and of course it pains me to know that I will probably never fit in it, but I have come to terms with it.
We are all born and wired differently, and although in every era society has dictated what is and what isn't attractive, you can only do two things: 1. Fight your ass off to fit into the criteria, or 2. Accept your body. And for the love of god stop complaining about it.
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