I am a fresh 19 year-old straight out of my birthday in August, but I have felt the full force of being 19. There are important ages in a person's life. 1 is incredibly important because before that you were 0 years old so basically you were nonexistant. 13 is important because that's when you enter teenagehood a.k.a the 6 years of doom. 16, 17, and 18 are important because depending on where you are in the world, that's your legal age to drive, drink, or vote. 21 is important too because you are a full-fledged adult that people listen to. You probably have a wart growing somewhere on your wrinkling ass cheeks to indicate that you are, in fact, getting older. But no one ever talks about being 19.
Let's get to it:
1. "You're only 19?"
Only? Only? There are some people in this world who don't live past the age of 5, okay. Being 19 is an achievement of me not dying, how dare you say only. Do you know what the chances are of me contracting malaria in this third world country? Very high. Y'all should congratulate me for not dying of the flu with the medical situation here. Also, saying only 19 just negates everything I have achieved in life.
2. "Wow you're __________ for a 19 year-old."
The blanks are often filled in with, "very mature," "really smart," "pretty funny." Now, I don't mind this that much. But whenever someone says this, I think about what their perception of the average 19 year-old is. Are we all supposed to be immature, dim-witted and not funny? I think adults forget what it's like to be 19. The problem here is that adults assume we have nothing consequential to offer, so if we show the slightest bit of acerbic wit and intelligence, they think it's an anomaly. I've met a lot of mature 19 year-olds and immature ones, but assuming all of us to have the intelligence of a squirell on weed is just condescending.
3. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Alright so let's pretend that you did not just say I haven't grown up. Only one year ago I was unable to boil water and look at me now. I am Gordon Ramsay-ing my kitchen and cooking pasta and Japanese udon and chicken cordon bleu. But when faced with this question, I give them a lackluster shrug, and they'd subsequently say...
4. "You're young...[followed by advice about my imminent future]"
Funny you think that I'm young when I really don't feel like it. Saying 'you're young' means nothing to us anymore because of the abundance of successful kids in sports, science, and music. Like when someone mentions that Justin Bieber is my age and that he's
achieved so much in life and Adele released an album when she was 19. But adults always always (repeat and italicize for emphasis) give me some sort of advice for my career or future. I can meet someone for 5 minutes and they would tell me how I should face the future. I get a lot of, "do what you really want to do, not what your parents want you to do," or encouragements to be in show business, either as an actress, a model, a talk show host or whatever that features my lovely asymmetrical face in front of the camera for millions to see and criticize. I usually tell them I don't want to work in front of the camera, to which they'd look at me strangely as if I had just told them that my aim in life is to be unemployed and live off my father for the rest of my life. On second thought, that doesn't sound like a terrible idea.
5. "...when I was your age."
I thoroughly enjoy hearing people's stories when they were 19. It gives me an idea of what they were like and it humanizes these scary adults. But hearing their achievements when they were my age sometimes makes me feel a bit ashamed. Like how my grandma had, like, 2 kids by the time she was 19, or how some old veteran served in a war when they were my age. And I'll sit there like, "yep... I managed to not burn down my apartment today."
6. "I have a kid your age!"
Thanks for answering the question I never asked. What do you want me to do with this fact? Now I know that you had sex circa 1993. And these parents don't tell me anything else! Like, okay, you have a kid who's 19; an irrelevant fact that's the bane of this awkward adult-to-kid conversation. Then they'd say their kid's name with such pride and I'd stare at them blankly and say, "sorry, I don't know him." And you can see the disappointment in their eyes like, "how dare you not know my son, he is a great man."
7. "You're going to be 20 soon!" or in Indonesian, "bentar lagi kepala dua loh!"
Kepala dua translates to "two heads" which represents the 2 in 20. These people tell me this as if I couldn't count for shit. I know I'm going to be 20 soon, don't you know I have cold sweats whenever I think about it? God, thanks for reminding me that my teenagehood is about to end.
8. "And you're the youngest?"
This is an incredible feat by discerning mothers. They all know I'm the youngest in the family, as if I give off the aura of disappointment and failed contraception. But in all seriousness, they always seem to get it spot on. No one asks me if I'm the oldest. It's odd, really.
9. "Do you have a boyfriend yet?"
Ah, the Indonesian women's trademark question. Whether or not I have a boyfriend, I will always say "no" lest I be bombarded with questions about his name, age, nationality, parental occupation, education, and what our future babies will look like. 19, apparently, is the new 25.
10. "When will you graduate?"
This question, for me, isn't really a big deal. But it is a big deal for my friends who are taking gap years (unheard of in most Asian countries. Our goal in life is to finish university, work, marry, and pop out chinky-eyed newborns). I usually tell them I'm graduating next year, in which they'd reply with number 4. Or they'd ask me about my major, which is not a discussion I'd like to have in any setting. Seriously, I don't know any university student who would talk to an adult about their major. Unless they're taking medicine, most kids are still on the fence about their current major. "My dad wanted me to take it," is a common answer and you can actually see their daddy issues in their eyes.
They say this in such a patronizing way whenever I do anything more suitable for 'children'. Excuse me, I will go down this swirly macaroni slide and I will do it with pride. 30 year-olds are shamed when they play on a child's swing so I'm going to make sure I make the most of my teenage years. Now on to the ball pit.11. "But you're 19."
12. "And you like One Direction?"
NO. THIS IS NOT OKAY FOR REASONS. Reason number 1. These members are all older than me. That's right, they're all 19-22 year-olds and I'm not allowed to like love them? Okay I'll admit that my One Direction onesie, posters, pencil box, paper dolls, USB and t-shirt are a bit overboard for someone who's currently doing an internship at Tatler, but I still stand by my point that I'm younger than them. 2. How can I not love them? How? 30 year-olds love Harry Styles for fucks sake. They are the most lovable creatures on earth and when they're sad I'm sad and when they're happy I'm happy and if they're a bird I'm a bird. 3. HAVE YOU ACTUALLY SEEN THEM THOUGH
I DON'T CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE AND WHAT YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS, THESE BOYS ARE THE GEMS OF THIS EARTH.
*clears throat*
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