It's Valentine's Day in three days and I'm pretty sure I'm going to go on a Single Lady Rampage all over town. I do not like this date at all. It might be because I'm a very sad individual inside that needs the intimacy of the opposite sex in order to feel any kind of happiness, or maybe because everyone I know have boyfriends and girlfriends and they're shoving their love all over my lonely face. I'm kidding about the former, by the way.
Let's get to it:
If you knew the exact date of the rapture, I’m sure all of you would be going in and out of a church, getting your knees bloody from kneeling on the cold wooden pew and foaming at the mouth from reciting Hail Mary for the umpteenth time. So it is with the dreaded Valentine’s Day. The day is approaching and despite my many efforts of fishing an innocent boy from the Single Man Ocean, I still find myself alone, bereft of the company and cuddles of the male kind.
Valentine’s
Day is this daunting day where the single ladies mourn over their loneliness
with each other. I’m not sure how men deal with it but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t
involve burning photographs of exes and chanting old Latin curses naked. Which
us girls totally do on the eve of every Valentine’s Day.
Most
of the time, there will be a gathering for the single girls, whether it be in a
restaurant, at a salon, or at someone’s house. It’s a time to talk about our feelings
and emotional baggage on a supposedly happy day. I have never had a Valentine, but
I’ve seen my friends and their partners celebrate this glorious occasion with
bouquets of flowers and animal sex on top of a bed peppered with rose petals.
The latter is just conjecture.
Yes,
I will be single on Valentine’s Day. Yes I do wish I had a boyfriend or at
least a date on that day. I am totally fine for 364 days but this one motherfucking day is like the bane of my existence. I don't make a big deal out of it and throw eggs at every couple I see, but there's always this aching feeling of emptiness every Valentine's Day. But once it hits February 15 I'll be the strong independent woman again, it's just this day is my kryptonite.
I think it has to do with the fact that I've never had a Valentine before. I've only had one person give me a gift on Valentine's day, but it was an innocent crush that probably diminished a week later. But it's pretty depressing for me to be alone, again, for the 19th time. But I'm not going to beg for a date or become a sobbing mess because I will be too busy working on Valentine's Day to actually rewatch A Walk To Remember.
The thing with Valentine's Day is that it makes half the population feel like shit. I remember back in high school we had Valentine Grams, where we buy balloons and roses from the student council, and we write notes for whoever we want to give it to. Then a student will barge into class during Valentine's Day carrying a tray of chocolate, balloons and gifts, calling each girl or boy to come up and claim the gift given to them from their partners.
I've never received that. Now, I don't want to be bitter and reincarnate into the Valentine's Day version of The Grinch, but it does make me feel very sad that throughout high school, I've never received a Valentine Gram. Petty, I know, but hey leave me alone, I'm a teenage girl, so let me talk about Valentine's Day like one.
I'm sure Valentine's Day is amazing for those of you who have long-term partners or if you're constantly in a relationship, but I've never been on that side of the argument. Nonetheless, I will be a happy sunshine on Valentine's Day because I've gotten through 18 of these days unscathed, and this one is no different. Happy Valentine's Day to all the couples and single people.
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