After being rejected from a job interview and dozens of job applications, I felt despondent. Not only because there might be a chance that I won't be able to stay and work in Melbourne after I graduate, but because I realized that I have never failed in my life before. I am this 20 year-old whose life so far has been smooth sailing on open seas with no storm in sight. I am an extremely privileged individual and so are many of my friends. The problem is that this ship isn't going to coast forever. The bigger problem is that I, and many of my friends, am not ready for engine failure.
Let's get to it:
It's a pretty common understanding that to succeed, you must fail. Thomas Edison famously said, "Restlessness is discontent — and discontent is the first necessity of
progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man — and I will show you a
failure." Many CEOs and entrepreneurs who made it in Forbes will all tell you stories of failure before stories of success. Because that's what life is; an amalgam of failure and success, it's just that we all hope the success will outweigh the failures. However, my friends and I were taught to succeed, but not to fail in the process. The result? Pressure, stress, and an irrational fear of defeat.
If given the chance, we would rather succeed than to disappoint our peers and ourselves. But I think no one fears failure more than my friends and classmates. Heck, why not add my entire high school. We were enrolled in a top-tier private school which ensured a spot in nearly every university in the world, so even if someone was rejected from Harvard, they would still end up with a bachelor's degree albeit from a less prestigious institution. Our failures were shallow potholes, but never were we confronted by a dead-end.
Many understand this feeling of invincibility; that life is ours for the taking. Life is giving us lemons and we're making lemonade at $10 a cup. The world is our oyster, they tell us, and we must seize it as soon as possible. Asian parents aren't big on gap years or any leisurely activities that affect us spiritually or emotionally. After we graduated high school, most of my friends packed their bags and moved halfway across the world. Most were given cars, apartments, allowances, and pats on the back. Now, as a graduate of 2014, which is years earlier than many of my peers, I have to say that I have not breathed since 2001. While most people traveled to Europe or India to discover themselves and mature before crossing the threshold of adulthood, we were pushed headfirst into the realm of the unknown. We were naive to think that this perfection we call life will continue forever.
I am afraid of failure the same way most people are. The difference is that we were never taught to expect big-time failure. Sure, we failed classes, disappointed our parents, or messed up friendships. But we were never kicked to the curb and beat up senselessly by life. That's the problem. I have experienced the world through privilege and promises, and planned my future according to what I was accustomed to. I thought I was going to graduate university, find a job, get married, have children, and enroll them in my old high school.
But then life hit me in the head. Find a job? Where? Get married? To whom? Have children? Are you biologically capable? Enroll them in your old high school? Will you even make that much money? Most of us have planned out our lives until our retirement, but it isn't until we reach a certain age when we realize that not all of it is going to work out. We plan our future according to our successes, but never our failures. We see our lives as a game of 'and then, and then, and then' but we never stop to think about what would happen if we were exposed to a roadblock.
There are only two ways to embrace the uncertainty of life: to take a chance, or to play it safe. The former won't ensure a steady or good income, nor will it make your parents proud. The latter, however, is what many opt for. We play it safe. We choose what will keep the ship sailing forward. We become robots to the blueprints of life that our family drew for us. Playing it safe ultimately means you will never experience failure the way those who truly live life do. Our failures are few and far between, but that means our life won't be lived the way it should be. Ships aren't built to sail calm seas. I am still deathly afraid of failure, but I am now trying to take a chance on life. You see, I am going to experience failure whether I like it or not, and so is everybody else. Besides, there's only so many times you can fail before finding success in the midst of it all.
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!" -Hunter S. Thompson
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