Hot Topic: Is Western Feminism Worth The Fight?

Like many western women, I am on the Feminist Bandwagon. As someone from a third world country where patriarchy is far more blatant and accepted, bringing modern feminism back to my country feels like bringing the ebola virus. Naturally, I've always supported the rights of women everywhere, especially because I know what it's like to live in a country where women are so obviously second-rate. However, after spending time on Tumblr and getting comfortable with the Social Justice Warriors, I've started to put one foot out of the bandwagon. I'm not walking away from the much admired term of 'Feminist', but I am beginning to doubt whether or not such radical feminism is needed in some western countries.

Let's get to it:

I see myself as a privileged individual, and it really doesn't matter where I come from or what I have between my legs. I am able to go to university, work, and have the (relative) freedom to marry whomever I choose. That's already pretty fucking great if you ask me. And like myself, many women in first world countries enjoy similar privileges, if not more. However, I find that modern feminists have exaggerated knee-jerk reactions to so many issues to the point where the fundament of the movement has gone awry.

Everywhere I turn on the internet I see women crying about the cruelty of the patriarchy and how cis white males are killing us women. Seriously, if you want to talk about patriarchy, the Indonesian family card has the title, 'Head of Family' instead of 'Father', and my grandma's occupation was written as 'Follow husband'. Even our national radio has a PSA telling women to dress appropriately as to not tempt men to rape them (I can't even). I know what patriarchy looks like, the question is, do you? If any of the aforementioned things (which is just the cherry on top of the Southeast Asian Patriarchy Sundae) are implemented in the western world, both men and women would bang on the doors of congress.

I have realized recently that modern feminism is no longer trying to fight for women's rights, which—other than current abortion laws—are already pretty swell. Instead, many feminists are fighting for how men perceive women in the media and in day to day activities. Catcalling, for instance, is treated as equally bad as the holocaust in many SJW Tumblrs. A man checking out a woman on the street can mean dire consequences for the man (honestly, I check out male booties all the time and nobody is calling me out on that). Making a sarcastic misogynistic joke could bring about a tirade of verbal abuse from the modern feminist. Stop nitpicking everything men do to justify your feminist agenda, because if you take a closer look, most of the things that you think are sexist aren't actually sexist at all. I find that these little things, these so-called 'rampant misogyny' is nothing more than a delusion that many feminists in first world countries blow up because they're too proud to admit that they are living in a place of near-equality. 

Why do I say near-equality? Because perfect equality between the sexes is not only impossible but delusional. We are psychologically and physiologically different, so obviously that would create some sort of imbalance. There is no such thing as perfect gender egalitarianism because there will always be a thin coat of sexism coming from both genders. Feminists see men and women positioned separately on a beam balance and they won't stop fighting until women weigh the same as men. In reality, the scale is constantly shifting—an ebb and flow depending on the circumstances. In many first world countries, the scale is pretty much equal, with a disparity that persistently shifts in favor of the men and the women. 

What? In favor of women? Blasphemy! Well let me tell you a thing. Although women have difficulty gaining reproductive rights, men have absolutely none. Boys who are victims of statutory rape are required to pay child support. Even though female domestic violence abusers are equally as prevalent as men, more often than not only the male perpetrators are arrested. Women get lesser sentences than men simply because they are women. I could go on and on but you get my drift don't you? Men do get discriminated against, and even though many radical feminists adamantly disagree, there isn't much to argue about when the facts are presented right there in pretty pink permalinks (that alliteration gave me goosebumps). 

Other facts such as '1 in 4 women will get raped' is a myth perpetuated by uninformed feminists who just need statistics to confirm their one-sided arguments. In reality, that statistic was made in the 1980's in a very poor study. On top of that, how many male victims would report a rape? How many men, if raped by a woman, would tell their friends about it? Their pals would probably give a congratulatory slap on the back and tell them to stop being a pussy. Perpetuating a shoddy study made 30 years ago is just plain ignorance. The real truth is that 40% of rapists are women, so perhaps before modern feminists fight for a cause with such zest, they should update their information.

Many other facts, like how women earn 23 cents less than men who do the same job, has been debunked time and time again, and the adjusted wage gap is only 4.8-7 cents less than men. Even then, it isn't necessarily because of sexism but because of the time women (especially mothers) put into their work and their negotiating skills when it comes to asking for a raise. Women might earn less than men, but the wage disparity has so many contributing factors that it's just too easy to pull out the gender card.

I'm not here just to debunk many feminist arguments, and I might even get a lot of backlash from women who still ardently believe that women are still not treated equal. I agree that there are some instances where women aren't treated fairly in western countries, however, the are also instances where men aren't treated fairly as well. It's simply the way it is. Asking for perfect equality by being condescending towards men and negating their two cents in the matter is just silly. Seriously, are straight white males even allowed to give out their opinions without being hit in the head by their own apparent privilege? Modern feminists say they want equality, but not only is that impossible, it has already been achieved (well, as close to perfect equality as it can go). 

Look, I know what sexism is. I know what the patriarchy can do and how shitty men can be. Case in point, there are women in Middle Eastern countries who aren't allowed to go out without a male companion or go to school. India is considered to be the most dangerous place to live for a woman due to the rampant sex trade and sexual assault. Many poor girls in Southeast Asia are sold to wealthy men. So when I see first world feminism asking men to stop looking at their breasts or fighting for false statistics, it is disheartening. Feminism is needed elsewhere, but it is no longer a cause worth fighting for so ardently in many western countries. 

There are things here and there (like the lack of female representation in politics, for instance) that need some help, but all in all if you look at the bigger picture, ya'll have it pretty good. If the worst thing in your life is how fat you feel from the skinny women on billboards and the lack of women on your latest copy of Forbes, then you have it pretty good. For real.

You all did a good job, feminists, but there is still room to work on by both genders. Oppression is a word thrown around so easily that it has lost all meaning. Women in first world countries aren't oppressed they way they were 50 years ago. You've come a long way. Millenials are going to run the world soon, and we've all been brought up in a much better place. There is no need to fight the war anymore. Just chill, yo.