I will soon walk across the stage in front of hundreds in my black robe and mortar board. The problem is now whether or not I can stay in Melbourne or if I have to move back to my homeland of polluted rivers and political instability. However, there are plenty of things I've learned here that I probably wouldn't have if I stayed in Jakarta. I came here as a 16 year old and throughout my time in Melbourne, there are a few things that I would like to mention to new high school graduates who are about to embark on a journey overseas. That journey will inevitably tear your innocence in half, so look forward to that.
Let's get to it:
1. You'll have a diverse group of friends, so there is no room for racism.
Alright, maybe back in your high school, you had an extreme shortage of black/Hispanic/Asian/Caucasian people and your only understanding of other races stemmed from Hollywood movies and Fox News. Maybe you're secretly a huge racist. However, when you go to university, especially overseas, inherent racism is as appalling as baths are to a cat. You can't be racist, not even a little bit. Sure, innocent ignorance can be excused from time to time, but if you have a deep-rooted hatred for a specific race 'just because', well...let's just say you should probably rethink saying that out loud.
2. Your faith will either waver or crumble altogether.
Oh, so you're a Jesus-loving, church-going person who just bought tickets to the new Hillsong concert? Talk to me in a few years. Faith is a funny thing. When there is no one to guide you towards God and no one to bring you to church, you will find yourself in your room on a Sunday afternoon browsing Reddit. When you live alone, you make your own decisions, and with that freedom comes the loss of many things including your faith. Growing up means being more responsible for your decisions, even if that means shedding the skin that your parents raised you in.
3. The only person who will care about your sex life is you.
If you're a virgin, then okay. If you're a sex maniac, then okay. Don't trip yourself over the fact that you haven't been laid or you've only had sex once but you only dipped the top half before crying in her arms. It's all good. Despite the movies about people busting your balls in college because you haven't busted your balls, you're probably going to be the only one worried over the state of your genitals. Calm yourself and don't try to lose or do anything before college for fear of not seeming 'cool'. No one's going to care, and if they do, tell them it's none of their business.
4. With that said, sex and alcohol will be rampant.
If you've made a promise to God or your parents to be chaste until marriage and teetotal for life, then you better wear a metal underwear and duct tape your mouth. That's the thing with living independently, you have to make your own life decisions with only your moral conscience and parental lessons to guide you. But sooner or later, you'll go with your gut instincts and peer pressure. If you choose to drink, then drink wisely. If you choose to have sex, then fuck safely. But even if you black out and end up in the hospital or wake up in a stranger's bedroom, it's all part of growing up and learning. You're going to graduate university with a sick story about one of these two, and that's what adolescence is all about; experience.
5. You might regret taking your major.
So you were 18 and didn't know the difference between affect and effect, yet you were pressured to choose a university major. You probably closed your eyes and eenie-miney-moed the courses listed on the college booklet, or took whatever major your parents wanted you to take. You might hate what you do, and you might not realize it until your 3rd or 4th year. Don't panic. Don't stress or blame yourself that you didn't choose the right path. You were young, and as was I when I had to choose my major. You can still transfer to another school, or change majors, or even take your chosen course for your masters. There are plenty of things you can do, but the most important thing is not to panic. Forcing a 17 year-old to choose a major that will determine his or her future for the next 50 years is just stupid. People change and mature, so calm down and talk to people you trust about the change.
6. Dating is different.
High school boyfriends and girlfriends seem like childhood play compared to college partners. This is because instead of 'waiting for parents to go away', you have a welcoming bedroom and all the privacy in the world. Instead of meeting each other everyday at school, you have to plan when you're going to meet them. Instead of having the same or familiar friends, you have to be acquainted with their clique (they might not like you, and your friends might not like them). Dating is both easier and harder at the same time, but much more meaningful than passing love notes during Biology. This is when you'll learn what it means to love and be loved. It will be your first glimpse into an adult and mature relationship.
7. You'll find yourself.
I don't mean like Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, but you will mature and discover who you are and what you're capable of. The things you will experience in college will shape your viewpoint. Think of it this way; you graduated high school with a few pencil lines on your canvas, and college has acrylic and a paintbrush. Don't even for a second think that you will stay 'true to yourself' throughout college because that is pretty much impossible. You will learn more things about life in the next 4 years than in the past 18 years. Unless, of course, you've seen some shit when you were younger, then maybe college won't faze you.
8. The plethora of friends you have in high school will simmer down to just a handful.
You might be the queen bee or the class clown, but your classmates will disseminate across the globe, or at least to different colleges. There is no sure-fire way that you will keep in touch with all of them. You might want to keep in contact with Alice but if she's in a totally different timezone then Skyping would be rather difficult. Or maybe you made a promise to Jack that you will always be friends, but Jack turned to hard drugs and started dating a meth addict, so you and Jack stop talking altogether. It's not about promises and how close you were back in high school, it's about the circumstances of the individuals you're trying to contact. Be ready to lose old friends, but don't worry, you'll gain new ones.
9. Don't be afraid to do new things.
If you want to do Muay Thai, then do it. If you want to join the Wine Club at your university, then do it. University is the place where people won't judge you for what you do and what you like. If you were afraid to do something in high school because it was 'uncool', now is your chance. Despite the rumors, you will have a surprising amount of time on your hands, and you should try to experience as much as possible in such little time. This might be hypocritical coming from the bed-loving writer who spends sunny days indoors, but trust me on this, there is only so much Tumblr can teach you. You need to skydive or give free hugs to homeless people. Do the dumbest shit that you didn't have the balls to do when your parents were in charge.
10. Say perhaps to drugs.
Someone once told me that if in college you don't know where to get drugs, then you're doing college wrong. I know where to get drugs the same way guidos know where the best tanning salon is. Now here's the kicker...drugs ain't all bad. We've all been brainwashed with the 'say no to drugs' mantra that teachers and government ads use, but in reality, many drugs if used in moderation are completely okay. In fact, sometimes it might even be an eye-opener. I'm not going to mention the drugs that are relatively a-okay to use, but try to stay away from hard drugs. Anything that requires a needle or a TV show basically means it's dangerous shit. I'm not endorsing the use of drugs, I'm simply telling you that not all drugs will ruin your life. Drugs will be relatively mainstream in college, so don't freak out when you see a bag of weed or some pills. But do your homework on them before jumping on the bandwagon.
No comments :
Post a Comment