Hot Topic: Strangers

I was at Church today and before the communion, I had a bit of a discussion with the stranger next to me regarding our shopping bags. We both came in late, thus we had to stand at the back. But before we all queued for the communion, he grabbed his shopping bag, to which I responded with, "just leave it here." He looked around him and said, "but when I come back it wouldn't be here anymore." I placed two of my shopping bags on the floor against the wall and said, "this is a Church." Then I promptly followed the line to receive the body of Christ.

Let's get to it:

I am naive. I have been repeatedly reminded by my mother whenever I have a friendly chat with security guards or workers in malls. She has regaled me with stories of my 6 year-old self making friends with everyone in the apartment I used to live in. I am naive because I believe in the good in people more than the bad. But this innocence is not a trait I was born with.

"Don't talk to strangers" was a sentence so often reiterated growing up that it has lost its meaning. I believe that in many Asian countries, especially a third-world one, talking to strangers is like getting to know your own kidnapper or rapist. The term 'stranger' has become synonymous with 'killer'. Walk down the streets of Jakarta and you'll see why people carry their backpacks in front of their chests. Everyone's a thief, a drug addict, a dealer, or a con artist. 

Growing up, I saw the childlike trust and innocence falter in adults. They become suspicious of ulterior motives and they see the worst in people they've never met. They have experienced more of the world and realized that people can be cruel, so they stop trusting. Instead of meeting people with a blank slate, everyone they meet is put in the Box of Danger and only through gratuitous acts of kindness can they move into the Okay Maybe They're Good People box.

I, on the other hand, put everyone in the latter. Everyone is not always good, but they have good. It's difficult to hate someone if you understand them. If someone stole my shopping bags during the communion I would be very angry indeed but anyone who would have the audacity to steal at a Church would have a justifiable reason. It would still make stealing wrong, but I will always try to find a reason behind every action. Because seeing the effect without the cause is like blaming the sand for ruining your sculpture because you didn't see the ocean wash ashore.

I am tired of being told I am too naive for my own good, because you know what? I am. I do trust people, not because I am stupid or that I have not been fucked over, but because everyone has a story and a reason. I believe in the good inside people and if you treat everyone that way then you will see the world as a much brighter place. We are amidst crooks and rapists but we are also amidst individuals who have loved and lost. We are so caught up in believing that everyone can hurt us that we forget that many can heal us too.

Being naive doesn't mean being uneducated or inexperienced. It means realizing how cruel people can be but knowing that those same people can also be exceptionally lovely. It is so much better to see the light in people's eyes than it is to see the darkness.