Hot Topic: Grades And Why They Fuck You Up




I was watching an episode of Friends where a male student confesses his love for his professor, Ross, which resulted in an F in his class, because he was so distracted by Ross' charm. Ross passes him out of compassion but finds out that he did that stunt with three other teachers in order to pass their classes. Ross says, "I can't believe someone would do that for a grade!" Well I believe it. I mean, the lengths that many students go through to get an A is unbelievable. The cheating, the flirting, the tricks we pull, oh man we are all con artists at heart. If none of you have ever tried to do a little sly move in order to pass or get a better grade then your moral standards are higher than mine. Or you're smart enough to not have been in that predicament in the first place. Lucky bastard.
 
Let's get to it:

Students cheat all the time. We plagiarize, we ask a neighbor for answers 1-5, we ask our friends about the questions on the test they just took so we can prepare for it. Students have mastered the art of lying and the art of writing in small letters on tiny pieces of paper. The more creative ones go about writing formulas and dates on their TI calculators, their drink wrappers, or most often for girls; their thighs.

Cheating has become second nature to most students, and all teachers do is punish us for it, as if we're ever going to stop. Punishing us for cheating just makes us more sly and efficient. It forces us to think outside the box. We spend days planning ways to cheat, on top of actually studying. But parents and teachers think the problem is that we're lazy. No, we're the opposite of that. Don't you know the amount of effort it takes to write a bunch of things down on your fingernails? Or planning with a friend how to talk in code? One cough means 'a', two taps on the desk means 'b', stretching means 'c', and sneezing means 'd'. How we have water bottles on desk corners so we can 'accidentally' tip it over, creating a loud noise so the designated cheaters will look our way and we can ask them about question #4.

We cheat because we don't equate learning with grades. Grades are a separate entity altogether. It's something you strive to achieve; leaving learning out of the equations. We study for a test to get an A in the class so we won't get whooped at home. We do our homework so we'll get those extra points in case we fail the class. We do everything not because we strive to learn but because we need good grades like it's a necessity in life.

Parents equate their child's intelligence with the marks they get at the end of each semester. The child may be Mozart reincarnated but if he gets a C-average then that child is a certified idiot. If you don't get straight A's, then you're not trying hard enough. That's not your best. If you work hard, you'll get an A. As if every child is endowed with a mathematician's brain, the artistry of a 15th century oil painter, and the linguistic abilities of a polyglot.

Hey, here's a thought, maybe when I come home with an A in English and Art but a C in Math, you don't give me a tirade of abuse. Or when if I fail my Physics test even after lessons three times a week, you don't call me lazy. Notice your child's forte and encourage that instead of punishing them because their creative brain is unable to comprehend differential calculus.

If you watch this video about how grades work in an Asian household, you'll realize why Asians are so academically oriented. Because there is absolutely nothing else worth your time. You have to be good at every subject, and if you don't then you're an idiot.

I've always hated that; how my parents tell me that I actually can get an A in Math but I'm not studying hard enough, even though I have voluntary math tutoring 3-4 times a week. The way my heart stops beating when my mother sees my results. The way I apologize to my parents for receiving grades below their expectations. They way I have to hide in shame when my parents quietly discuss my grades, as if the numbers or letters on the page represent my worth as a human being.

Well it doesn't.

You are good enough as a person without getting straight A's. You are good enough as a person without winning awards. You are good enough as a person without the approval of your parents. You are good enough as a person even if you don't go to a Top 100 university. You are good enough as a person even if you fail your subjects.

Because we need to remind ourselves that we are our own self. That we like and hate different things. We wake up and sleep at different times. Some of us put wasabi in our sushi, some of us don't eat sushi altogether. We like different types of music and fashion. We are different people. So you shouldn't put too much pressure on yourself to get a 4.0 GPA when that number means nothing when it comes to your value as a person.

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