Hot Topic: Dating Outside Your Religion



I've been surrounded by Catholic family members all my life from both sides of my family. My parents have always emphasized the importance of finding someone of the same faith. They'll be fine if I bring home a hispanic, black or white man home (albeit my slightly racist mother would be apprehensive), but bringing a non-Catholic man home? Man, that's like asking to be disowned. I wasn't even allowed to go to a protestant Christian church with my friends let alone marry one. 

Let's get to it:

Finding the perfect soul mate (or whatever you call it) is difficult enough as it is. Love is not the only thing you need, regardless of the plethora of inspirational quotes on your Instagram newsfeed. On top of evaluating the person's character, we need to think about their educational and socioeconomic background. One of my mother's pearls of wisdom is, "cinta ga bisa beli beras" which means "love cannot buy you rice." Most people jump on the relationship train simply because they are smitten with the person of their dreams, but I have learned that there are many other factors that we need to weigh in. I have never been encouraged to love, but to love logically.

Not only do I have to consider those factors, but I have to think about the key element of a successful relationship; faith. I am not the most religious person out there, heck, I probably am the least compared to my friends. But I have much respect for God who I believe exist, and I know many others do too, although they might call Him differently. But a rose by any other name still smells as sweet. 

Many religious people say that marrying someone of the same faith is the foundation of a conjugal bond. Some might even tell me that if that person isn't of the same faith, then he is not the one God has planned out for me. But I am a cradle Catholic—meaning that I was raised with said religion since birth—and I know that there are Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Jews who were also born and raised within the confines of their parents' religion. So sometimes it's not really their choice to have that religion, just like how I did not choose to be enrolled in a strict Christian school and be indoctrinated by fanatic protestant teachers. 

Us religious people are all separated like islands when we're actually all in the same bed of land. Muslims want interfaith marriages just as much as Catholics but see that's the thing, what if religion is the only thing holding back two soul mates? Converting is not easy, because religion shapes your personality, it's who you are. Do not ask someone to convert into your religion unless you are willing to do the same. Every religion has flaws in them and holds the belief that they are the truest form of faith. To believe that mine is superior to another as to tell someone to convert into Catholicism is offensive to the faith of that person.

I have seen quite a few relationships be torn apart in the name of religion. My friends have learned at an early age that religion is the cornerstone of a relationship. She might not have a Bible in her house and he might have never even stepped foot inside a mosque, but suddenly when it comes to relationships, they both start defending their right to practice what they don't even do. They have been taught that without religion, a marriage will turn into shambles.

I'm not saying that I want to marry outside of my religion and that I am actively searching for a Jew or a Sikh, but I just think that it's ridiculous to invalidate any promise of a future with someone simply because they hold a different religious belief. I dislike the boundaries we have set ourselves. That I have to blacklist every man on Earth who does not kneel on a pew every Sunday. What if the person you are absolutely perfect for follows a different religion? Will you settle for second best just because that person doesn't pray the way you do? We are so caught up in labeling people this and that that we often forget that each faith holds the belief of compassion and respect for everyone, peace, and the existence of the soul.

"Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion." -Dalai Lama

at
Labels:

No comments :

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments ( Atom )