I just realized how us girls are a walking contradiction. We have to balance the pressure to be this, to do that, to act like this and that. There is never a position where the world goes, "yes, that's it. Stay there, perfect!" You're either too narcissistic, or too critical if yourself. Either too complacent, or too modest. Too loud, or too quiet. Too kind, or too mean. There is no gray area in being a girl, because it seems like whatever we do or say, it's always the wrong thing. I'm not supposed to wear a skirt past 6P.M. lest I get sexually harassed. I'm not supposed to wear makeup because that means I'm fake and insecure. I'm not supposed to sit with my legs apart because that's too masculine. I'm not supposed to walk down that alley because I might get raped. Nothing's right.
Let's get to it:
Since our kindergarten days, us girls have been taught to suppress our natural sexual instincts, yet embrace them...but not too much. As we grow up, magazines tell us how to get the right boy. What to wear on a first date, which makeup to use, what to say, how to act, how to walk, how to breathe, how to swallow, how to blink how to how to how to how to.
You flip a page and you see a print ad for clear skin. Are you a teenager going through the normal stage of hormonal imbalance? Well we've got the thing for you! Just for $59.99 you can get clear skin because what boy would ask you out when you have acne? Do you have thin eyelashes? Well here's mascara for $25.99 that will blow him away every time you blink!
Even commercials for pimple cream or soap have girls that prepare themselves for a date. Because if you have that one zit or you don't smell like mango-kiwi, you are unworthy of being fucked by your shallow date. And that's important. Being fuckable is key to being a woman. But remember, if you sleep around, you're a tramp and no one will want your hollow vagina.
Be yourself! Unless you suck, then be someone more likeable. Confidence is sexy! But not if you're ugly or fat. Then wallow in self-pity. No confidence for you ever. Intelligence is hot! But not if you're smarter than him. He will feel emasculated. Play hard to get! But not too hard because he will lose interest. Be flirty! But not too flirty because then he'll think you're a tramp. Wear something sexy! But don't wear that low-cut top because he will get the wrong idea. Natural is beautiful! Here's some mascara, pluck those eyebrows, here's perfume, hide those under eye circles with some concealer, straighten that frizzy hair, yes, beautiful. Very beautiful, you are!
It's ridiculous isn't it? We end up becoming a bunch of fickle people who fight against our natural instinct just to please the opposite sex. Not everything is done for men, that's true, but the majority of what we do, is. Because we have been man's companion since the dawn of time, and it comes natural for us to abide by their rules for femininity.
If you tell us to wear makeup and get boys and wear sexy lingerie, don't tell us the opposite. Don't tell us to be natural and independent. Don't harangue us for acting promiscuous when every commercial and billboard ad displays women as if they were objects to look at. If you want us to go one way, then let us go that direction. Because I'm sick being told two completely different things on how to be the 'right girl'.
Of course, you can fight the current. Be who you're really meant to be. Fuck the police, and all that jazz. More power to you if you can get away with that. But me? I'm not going to fight against the current. I'm doing what most people do. I just write about the current, because I'm not strong enough to fight it.
Boys will be boys, that's what people say. No one ever mentions how girls have to be something other than themselves altogether. We are to stifle the same feelings that boys are encouraged to display. We are to use gossip as a means of policing ourselves―this way those who do succumb to sex but are not damaged by it are damaged instead by peer malice. Girls demand a covenant because if one gives in, others will be expected to do the same. We are to remain united in cruelty, ignorance, and aversion. Or we are to starve the flesh from our bones, penalizing the body for its nature, castigating ourselves for advances we are powerless to prevent. We are to make false promises then resist the attentions solicited. Basically we are to become expert liars. -Hilary Thayer Harmann
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