Hot Topic: Being Facebook Official

"So are you guys together together?" we used to ask people. Back in the day, it was simple. You're either going steady or you're single. But now the lines are blurred and most people find themselves in a relationship limbo; trapped between committing to someone and being a single pringle. Do you notice that not many people post their relationship status on Facebook anymore? What was once the substantiation of a relationship is now only used for when two people tie the knot. 

Let's get to it:

There are many names given to a relationship. Are we going steady? Are we exclusive? Are we in a committed relationship? Or are we...Facebook official? All of those mean the same thing, but the last is a completely different game. 

People used to change their relationship status into In A Relationship and wait for the influx of comments to roll by. Friends congratulate, acquaintances like, and family members can't wait to meet the lucky chap who managed to nip you off the market. But now, official Facebook relationship statuses are far and few between, and it's not because people aren't in relationships, it's because relationships nowadays are too fickle to be written in stone. Or in this case, the internet. 

People no longer know if they're in a relationship, they just go with the flow. Making their relationship Facebook official means that they have taken a conscious decision to put their relationship's trials and tribulations on the public sphere. What do you do when you want to take a break with this person? Changing it to It's Complicated only brings more questions from friends, and changing it to Single tells the world that you can't keep a relationship for more than 4 months. 

Relationships come and go, and with the age of hookup culture, most people tend to jump from person to person with no time to solidify the relationship into something more. People like the freedom to choose, and women—finally able to express their sexuality without crass judgement—are taking the dating world by storm. Men, aware of women's newfound liberation, use it to their advantage. Both parties are satisfied, and everyone's Facebook relationship status remains private. 

Keeping our Facebook relationship status a secret from the world is liberating. It means that every breakup and every new boyfriend isn't documented for hundreds to see. Instead, we wait until we're ready to post a picture of our partner on social media. It might be two months down the line or even a year. The point is, people now have the freedom of time to debut their partners instead of using Facebook to immediately declare the relationship the moment you two decide to go steady. 

But the decline of the Facebook Official relationship has more to do with today's hookup culture than it does with privacy. With the rise of western feminism, most women think it's better and more efficient to date than be in a relationship. What's the difference? Well, dating is when two people go out, share intimate moments, and maybe even spend nights together. But they are not exclusive, nor do they refer to each other as anything more than a friend...or whatever adjective that suits their purpose. This goes deeper beyond just one night stands and casual sex with multiple partners, this is a romantic revolution in young adults that most people seem to be oblivious to.

Being in a relationship is passé. With the proliferation of dating apps such as Tinder and Grindr (and for the adventurous, maybe even Luxy and 3nder), people would prefer to wet their feet in relationships than submerge themselves in it altogether. I don't know when or why it started, but somehow I often see people go out with other people without being fully committed to them. The aim of life for women is no longer to bear children and have babies with projectile diarrhea. They are women with a drive to work and be successful, and with that comes the added bonus of playing the field the way men do. When women push the notion of marriage and babies away, they are left with options to explore their dating life in unthinkable ways. They can have a threesome on Monday and go on two different dates on Wednesday night. Being in a relationship is as respected as ever, but dating is where all the single adults are.

The path to find The One has never been hazier. While our grandparents were introduced by families or university mixers, these days anyone can meet anyone. You can fall in love with someone you've never met in real life. You can travel around the world and experiment with different men and women. You can do anything you want because we are no longer bound by distance and time.

Being single isn't just a waiting period before the next relationship. While many think so, some refuse to let singledom ruin their lives. People have fun now, and finding our lifelong partner in life doesn't have to be so soon. We will meet and go out with different people that we do not want to settle with just yet, and because of that, being Facebook official is a redundant process. It has now become a massive step akin to dropping on one knee and popping the question. Besides, playing the game has never been this easy, so why tell the world what you're up to behind closed doors?