Slut-shaming is when women are attacked for not conforming to the standard of a patriarchal society. 'Slut' originally meant being promiscuous or being a prostitute, but now it's just a word we toss around. But what I realized recently is how subjective the word 'slut' is. In America or any western countries, the word slut is reserved mostly for those who do actually sleep around. But in more conservative countries, like Indonesia, the word slut can be used whenever a girl comes into contact with a boy.
Let's get to it:
I think the use of the word slut depends on what you think is slutty and promiscuous. In western countries where men and women have the freedom to engage in premarital sex without people condemning them for it, the word slut is used for those who do have casual sex partners. But in more conservative countries, where premarital sex is so far-fetched and is equivalent to mass-murder, the word slut describes girls who engage in anything physical with any boy. If that. Sometimes girls who hang out with a lot of guys are seen as sluts. Holding hands with a boy who's not your boyfriend? Slut. Dancing with a guy in a club? Slut. Giving your number to a hot stranger? Slut. You don't need to do the deed to be labeled as a slut. As long as you express your sexuality in any way, you are already considered a slut.
Which is a terrible way to think, really. Because when you label someone as a slut, you don't just bring up their private sexual activities to the world, but you create this negative stereotypical image of them. We are not made up of the amount of sex we have; we are so much more than that. We are made up of our education, emotions, friends, family, career, future, health, what-have-you. But once you call someone a slut, you annul every other attribute and concentrate on just one. Instead of looking at her merits, you immediately see her as scum that isn't worth your time. Which is why when you call someone a slut, she feels as if nothing else about her matters but her sexual activities.
But it isn't really any of your business, now is it? It's okay to think about someone's sexcapades or whether or not they've already 'done it'. It's completely normal. But what isn't normal is labeling someone as a slut because they do not comply with your standards of how a woman should act. If I had a penny for every time I heard someone say, "she's a total slut," I would have enough money to buy a grade A wagyu steak to wipe my nose every time I sneezed.
It's not easy trying to stop yourself from calling someone a slut, especially if that girl stole your boyfriend. But instead of calling her a slut, can't you call her something else? Inconsiderate, mean, sad, lonely, desperate, oh you can think of something. I think we slut-shame girls because we want to justify our own actions. We try to console ourselves with the thought that we are not as promiscuous as they are, and thus we can carry on doing what we do.
Oh for god's sake, I know several people who have done it up the arse just so they can stay a 'virgin'. Or how there are some girls who give fellatio left and right but still calls herself 'pure' just because her hymen is still in tact. Girls have innate sexual urges that society tries to oppress, and once they do show it, they are bashed for it. As if their sexual instinct is unnatural and should be thrown away like spoiled milk.
Long story short? Just because someone has a lot of sex, doesn't mean they are a bad person. There are women who like to have sex and there are women who don't want to have sex until their wedding night. But just because someone's moralities are completely different to yours, doesn't make theirs wrong, and doesn't make yours right, either.
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